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The journey to the true self will take you through your body, imagination, emotions, mind, and unconscious because these are the conditions of the human experience. Take a moment now to observe yourself. You may feel out of balance, your mind may be jumping around, but you can still observe yourself. Your inner observer will not be waving a flag to get your attention, but if you are still and aware and present, you will sense its presence.

What if that which is aware -- your inner observer -- is God? How ironic to think that we are running around looking for Spirit, for God, and all the while God is inside us, looking at us looking for Him. A lot of us think that if God were present, there would be more going on, golden chariots or a choir of angels. We look for something phenomenal, something that will make us feel special. But maybe God is present in the ordinary act of observing.

John-Roger with Paul Kaye
From: What's It Like Being You?

Well this recent trip to Tampa for my new job training has been fun, exciting, challenging, stressful, overwhelming... and I feel myself growing yet again. This post is a long one simply because I have a lot to share and time on my hands. On entering my hotel in Tampa I was greeting by this holiday lit parrot. I am in the South!

Let me start out by saying the opportunity that has presented itself to me career wise is incredible. To be handpicked in this economy to work for what Inc. magazine recently ranked No. 373 on its 28th annual Inc. 500, an exclusive ranking of the nation’s fastest-growing private companies, is amazing to me.

Triad Digital Media, founded in 2004 by CEO Greg Murtagh, is unique in the online advertising industry. The Tampa-based company creates, manages and operates online media programs for leading retail and ecommerce Web sites, which include Walmart, Sam's Club, CVS Pharmacy and Dell to name a few. In total, Triad Digital Media’s client sites reach more than 70 million shoppers every month, with high-impact advertising media opportunities to reach consumers at the exact right time and place — while they’re deciding what to buy. Triad Digital Media has a three-year growth rate of an amazing 677.2 percent, with an annual revenue of $51.4 million and 155 employees, make that 156 as I just signed on! The company operates seven offices nationwide, including its headquarters in Tampa.

OK, back to me. So I show up on time, introduce myself, open up and meet new people. Never an easy thing for me as I find I guard my privacy, but realize if I am to fit in, work with others, I need to be a part of, right? That old issue of "what's your wife's name" is ever present and my reply usually is "my partner's name is David...." and listen for the shoe to drop, the facial expressions to show and then their response. Usually people are cool, it's me that worries of some sort of confrontation. Why do I do this to myself?

Anyways everyone is cool at the office, only two people have inquired about my ring and one was gay anyway. So it turns out he is my new Traffic Manager, the one who will be handing me the job tickets to work on from Tampa to my home office in San Diego. Great guy, funny wit and an instant sense of comfortability as we're "family." He asked if I wanted to meet him and some of his friends Saturday around noon for lunch over in Ybor. It's a cool place that reminds me of the Gaslamp in San Diego. It appears to be a happening place at night with clubs and restaurants and cool shops and a theater, etc as well in the daytime.

I mapped on Google my trip and hit the highway in my rental. I got the car so I wouldn't feel trapped in my hotel for 12 days, but completely stress out and get so anxious driving somewhere new. Reading my directions, looking at the highway signs and turning down the music "so I can concentrate better" as if that helps, and I find my way and look for parking.  We meet up at a Hamburger Mary's, a gay-owned restaurant, which the San Diego one closed a while ago and is now Mo's in Hillcrest, and laugh and have a great time. All of my 411 is relayed and I show pics of Dave and we have a great time. Good Lord, I'm 20 years older then him! Thank God I'm young in spirit.

When we first met and I was introduced to his friends it was all casual and just greetings, on exiting and telling my co-worker I would see him later that evening at the company Christmas party we all hugged. Amazing what a little opening up does!

Now to get my car and figure out my path back to my hotel. You may think "just do the opposite" but it's never that easy. Especially if you are missing that inner navigational chip upstairs where a sense of direction is already built in. If you're navigationally-challenged, feel free to let me know so I don't feel alone.

On my way back I walked around the International Plaza near my hotel - a HUGE shopping mall reminiscent of Fashion Island up in Orange County, with Neiman Marcus, Louis Vuitton, Burberry and the like and then came back to my hotel to no parking.

They take their college football SERIOUSLY down here. The place is packed with purple and orange everything... cars, people, faces, clothes, balloons, buses it goes on and on! Well as I was boarding the elevator someone pulled the fire alarm and the sirens and lights and bar football crowd went insane. The sound was quite deafening and I finally got back into my room after the fire department came and left.

Never a dull moment. I take some cold medicine and rest for a few. Then map my journey to the Christmas party that appears to be up and over in Dunedin above Clearwater - a party with people I have only known for 4 days and feel like I am crashing in on the hard work they did for the last year to celebrate it. So I will do as I was told in the beginning of my new life: show up on time, introduce myself, open up and meet new people. Again.

Alright this trek is now in the dark and will be over water causeways and quite a ways away. But I suck it up and persevere. Google is great, but what happens to the poor driver (me) who comes across a split in the road with no signs? Which to take, left or right? What's this dead end, it's not on my notes? Use common sense and go for it! Be fearless in the presence of feeling completely vulnerable and lost. Damn it a twisty road with no lights and a sense that I am in the wrong place and then bam! there is the street I needed. Keep the faith, Kevin, you can do this. I did, too and made the party.

A little awkward, but I tried to mingle and was asked countless times "why are you not drinking?" "club soda with an open bar, come on?" etc. Needless to say I made it thru that with my cold excuse for some, and others got the "I don't drink" catch phrase. Enough said. The awards are given out, it's a lovely party, but I feel like the red headed step child nobody knows what to do with - they're nice, but the conversation is limited. Everyone is with their friends and drinking and laughing and I feel odd man out. Never shunned, just me and my head. So I hang and make sure to be seen by all those who matter and soon make an exit as the buffet is announced.

Yes I got lost, made a few wrong turns, but made the 45 minute trek back to my hotel and order room service.

Today I woke up at 10am, ran down in my shorts, tshirt and hat to make the breakfast deadline and was told they are open until noon. I bring my cottage cheese, fruit and toasted English muffin and coffee back to the room and read some blogs. Realizing it is another grey day and not warm enough, I  decide not to go to Busch Gardens and ride roller coasters but to go out to St Petersburg.

Another drive over water causeways and new city streets, but I did it last night, I'll do it today. I visit the sites at BayWalk and the waterfront shops, cafes and restaurants.

I go to the Museum of Fine Arts, but didn't want to spend $14 and decide to eat. Wonderful meal, but I realize how much I miss Dave. Eating by yourself, walking around a new city and exploring it is not the same without him. I find I can do all these things on my own, and am proud of myself for stretching and growing, to take chances and push myself, but it is always better with someone and his name is Dave.

So I decide to head back and relax at my hotel and ease into another week of training. Each day gets better and has me stepping up to whatever challenge comes my way. I can do this...

Whatever your dominant vibration/consciousness of 2009 has been will be what your dominant vibration/consciousness of 2010 will be too. So, if you think of this as a "bad" year and you cannot wait to get to the new "good" year, you are living in an illusion because you take your vibration with you wherever you go. The only way to make any change, is through a change of MIND.

It's like wanting to "get rid of" a "bad" president, thinking you'll get a "good" one and everything will change and be wonderful. And then eventually you notice that it's just "same old, same old" because the dominant consciousness and vibration of the citizens is still the same and whatever you "push against" you are actually attracting and creating. So as you push one person out, the next one in has the same vibration as the old one but in a different form. As you push one year out, you draw in another year just like the last one but in a slightly different form.

Words of wisdom from a spiritual guide of mine, Jacob Glass. To read the entire post click here!

One of my favorite authors and someone who has definitely made an impact on my life has been Eckhart Tolle. He is the author of "The Power of Now" and several others, but that is the one that started it all for me. He has been instrumental in helping me find inner peace and greater fulfillment in my life.

Sound corny? Well it is in fact keeping myself grounded and in the present. It is an ongoing task and I'm trudging the road to happiness on a daily basis... as long as I stay in the present!

It may appear on the surface a little metaphysical, hocus-pokus, touchy-feely, etc, but his writing and experiences have deeply changed my way of thinking and the result is my feelings and perspective on things has changed drastically.

He is currently expanding his book and CD empire to the digital web! On his new site Eckhart Tolle TV one can find "monthly webcasts designed to catalyze spiritual awakening, foster community, and provide clarity, guidance, and support."

Thought I'd pass this on from a book about relationships by author John Roger. If you would like or subscribe to his daily emailing of inspiration and encouragement click here!

In order to communicate you must first accept yourself as you are and as good enough just as you are.

Every human being -- every person alive -- is truly a valuable, worthwhile being. It would be to your benefit to remind yourself of that, particularly during emotional times when the information you are communicating may be colored by your conditioned needs. Remind yourself that the person to whom you are talking is a valuable, worthwhile human being -- even if they aren't behaving the way you might wish.

Because people often place things in the way of communication, it would be valuable for you to take the time and make the effort to create an environment that permits any level of communication from others.

Thought I would share some insightful words from someone I admire, respect and listen to... enjoy.

"Faith has a lot to do with where we place our attention. And we know from metaphysics that whatever you give your attention to increases. And so I would invite you to consider where your attention is these days, because where your attention is expresses what you have the most faith in. And I’ll let you take a breath on that one.

You know, when times are challenging, we have a choice. Will we give our attention to fear or will we give our attention to faith? And the interesting thing about fear and faith is that they are exactly the same power but moving in opposite directions.

Faith is the conviction, the certainty, the assurance that you will experience what it is that you desire. And fear is the conviction, the certainty, the assurance that you will experience what you DO NOT desire.

Same power, moving in opposite directions, they are equally creative in our lives because they both set mental equivalents in our lives, they set mental concepts that tend to out-picture.

And so our choice in challenging times is what will get the lion’s share of our attention? What will it be?

Will it be fear and then we will live the results of fear? Or will it be faith and then we will live the results of faith?”

Rev. Kathy Hearn, “Radiant Faith” – May 3, 2009